 I live in Kerala, and my wife and I occasionally visit Bangalore to stay with my son and his family. Whenever we are there, my grandson spends a lot of time on my mobile phone. I try to be firm with him, but cannot make myself be harsh or angry. However, he takes advantage of my soft nature and continues to snatch the mobile from me whenever he can. I feel guilty of spoiling him and aiding his mobile addiction. My family constantly blames me for my inability to prevent him from using my phone. What should I do?
Mobile addiction is a growing concern, especially among the younger population. Young children are not able to discriminate between harmless and harmful activities, they go by pleasure principle. In other words, they will always be tempted to do what pleases them and we as adults have to guide them. This has nothing to do with being harsh, it’s a duty we adults have. Look at it this way, if your grandson insisted on drinking an alcoholic beverage, would you let him because you don’t want to seem harsh? Similarly, mobile and Internet use, social media etc are not useful activities for young children and can cause harm when excessively indulged in. Secondly, the family should develop a consensus on time and activities allowed on internet devices and follow it. Also, children learn from adult behaviour, so limit your own use of mobile phones and indulge in more fruitful exercises like reading books, board games, art, craft, games etc.
 I am in class 8 currently and quite stressed all the time about my final exams. I see many motivational videos on YouTube but when I sit down to study, I keep daydreaming all the time about my pending assignments and my dream room. How can I overcome this and focus on my studies?
Considering norms, your age should be 13 or 14 years. This is the time when we start becoming more aware of ourselves and what is expected from us socially or culturally. We also face a lot of emotions and distractions which may increase stress and anxiety. In order to deal with the stress, we sometimes indulge in daydreaming which acts as an escape. It’s important therefore to seek guidance from an adult you are comfortable with, a teacher or a counsellor. Trying to self educate through social media may not be helpful because your individual needs are not likely to be met by general advice. Some general tips to focus on studies are to divide study material into sections and make a schedule. Make realistic goals. Find a study partner. Take good sleep because it helps to consolidate memory. Drink adequate water and eat healthy.
 I am 20 years old. Since childhood, I was not good at studies and had low confidence. I was chubby and everyone used to tell me that I should lose weight to look prettier. After that I lost some weight and was feeling healthy but they kept telling me that I need to lose more weight which made me insecure about my body. A year ago my dad passed away, which has hit me mentally and physically. As a result, I can’t focus on my career. How to deal with this?
The messages we get about us and our world in childhood make us develop deep-rooted beliefs and shape our personality. Our self concept is a reflection of socio-cultural beliefs and as we grow up, we often get into conflict with who we want to be and what’s expected of us. It’s therefore important to become aware of what’s our own desire and what’s the expectations of others to figure out our goals. It’s important to focus on health and stamina but unhealthy to obsess over weight. Similarly, it’s good to enjoy learning new things but unhealthy to associate these endeavours to professional success. Self-doubt breeds low self-esteem. A major stressful event like losing a parent or a loved one can trigger our fear and insecurity and make us sensitive and emotional. It therefore helps to have a third person perspective by way of talking to a trusting individual or a professional.
Mobile addiction is a growing concern, especially among the younger population. Young children are not able to discriminate between harmless and harmful activities, they go by pleasure principle. In other words, they will always be tempted to do what pleases them and we as adults have to guide them. This has nothing to do with being harsh, it’s a duty we adults have. Look at it this way, if your grandson insisted on drinking an alcoholic beverage, would you let him because you don’t want to seem harsh? Similarly, mobile and Internet use, social media etc are not useful activities for young children and can cause harm when excessively indulged in. Secondly, the family should develop a consensus on time and activities allowed on internet devices and follow it. Also, children learn from adult behaviour, so limit your own use of mobile phones and indulge in more fruitful exercises like reading books, board games, art, craft, games etc.
 I am in class 8 currently and quite stressed all the time about my final exams. I see many motivational videos on YouTube but when I sit down to study, I keep daydreaming all the time about my pending assignments and my dream room. How can I overcome this and focus on my studies?
Considering norms, your age should be 13 or 14 years. This is the time when we start becoming more aware of ourselves and what is expected from us socially or culturally. We also face a lot of emotions and distractions which may increase stress and anxiety. In order to deal with the stress, we sometimes indulge in daydreaming which acts as an escape. It’s important therefore to seek guidance from an adult you are comfortable with, a teacher or a counsellor. Trying to self educate through social media may not be helpful because your individual needs are not likely to be met by general advice. Some general tips to focus on studies are to divide study material into sections and make a schedule. Make realistic goals. Find a study partner. Take good sleep because it helps to consolidate memory. Drink adequate water and eat healthy.
 I am 20 years old. Since childhood, I was not good at studies and had low confidence. I was chubby and everyone used to tell me that I should lose weight to look prettier. After that I lost some weight and was feeling healthy but they kept telling me that I need to lose more weight which made me insecure about my body. A year ago my dad passed away, which has hit me mentally and physically. As a result, I can’t focus on my career. How to deal with this?
The messages we get about us and our world in childhood make us develop deep-rooted beliefs and shape our personality. Our self concept is a reflection of socio-cultural beliefs and as we grow up, we often get into conflict with who we want to be and what’s expected of us. It’s therefore important to become aware of what’s our own desire and what’s the expectations of others to figure out our goals. It’s important to focus on health and stamina but unhealthy to obsess over weight. Similarly, it’s good to enjoy learning new things but unhealthy to associate these endeavours to professional success. Self-doubt breeds low self-esteem. A major stressful event like losing a parent or a loved one can trigger our fear and insecurity and make us sensitive and emotional. It therefore helps to have a third person perspective by way of talking to a trusting individual or a professional.